i wana scream to the rooftops,
tear at my head.
rip out my heart,
i wana be dead.
i cant trust anybody.
no promises are kept.
disapointment engulfs me,
and all i feel is depth,
in the hollowness inside me.
my core is all alone.
i draw away from people.
yet i dont want to be home.
no one will read this.
no one cares anyway.
cause noboddy loves me.
and i feel the love leaving me faster everyday.
its just how i feel lately
no. I might not be you, but this poem is what I carry around every day. And it hurts. People say that words are words, just sound in the air, but they hurt as much as a punch or a blade. Worse, even, because at least with those you know where the hurt is and therefore how to fix it. This is different. People might not even know it, but everything they say is like spikes of glass all over their outsides, and even with any shields you might have the glass keeps coming. And it will feel like that all the time, and it will hurt. But the cuts will heal over, and scars will take their place, and scars won't be cut as easily as skin.You are going to find someone, something or someplace that makes you feel happy, if only for a little while. And if that someone or someplace or something makes you happy, never let it go. Things will get better. It's like siting at the bottom of a hole. You can't get out easily, but you can claw your way to the top. and when you do, you'll be in a better position than most people who are happy and take it for granted. you'll value it more. and that gives you power. never give up. ever.
i will take this to heart. i will be happy eventualy, i just have to fight, and i know this. but i hate myself which makes it all the harder to go through life faking happyness so others dont know. so that those i do love dont have to be burdend by me and all my selfishness.
no, it isn't selfish to vent. it's okay. what's unhealthy, though, is keeping everything bottled up because eventually you'll reach max capacity and explode into a million pieces and you can never be put back together again... and your body is only one you'll have to wear for a while. you might end up in a different one at some point, if we're to believe in reincarnation. it's alright if you hate your body. but just don't take it to the point of self-harm. because when all's said and done, you'll have to walk around in this body for the next however many years you've got and keeping your body mostly intact is probably a good idea. and i know what you're going through. people have probably told you that before, and those people were probably adults, and you and i both know that they have absolutely no idea what it's like to be in our place in the world. as a girl just out of eighth grade, i sympathize and empathize in the deepest possible way.
yes most people dont understand or think they do. it is hard being a young girl in this world, with the way it is and all the pressure put on us from everyone around us. this coming from a girl who is also fresh out of 8th grade.
they think they understand how we work because they took a schmancy class in 'child psychology' probably from some old guy who hasn't been around kids in forever, and honestly a wildlife specialist would be of more use. school is like the savannah. it's big and bright and open and full of predators and dangers and if you aren't careful it will chew you up and spit you out like nobody's business. there are lions and hyenas and cheetahs and hippos and monkeys and gazelles, and sometimes rarely an elephant. but mostly hyenas and lions and gazelles.
true, we probly just need a really hot guy to protect us from all the wild anamils...
or a really nerdy guy. i'm not so interested in physical beauty. i would go for a guy who trips over his words but is sweet and endearing and makes references to my fandoms in all the right places, and knows enough to be informed about the world but always wants to know more.